shrinking pains

I knew it would be an adjustment, with Lauren moving out and all, but I had no idea I'd feel something close to grief.

For months I've been saying I couldn't wait for this day. I was sick and tired of her leaving wet towels laying on the floor, borrowing my clothes without asking, and doing NO chores to help the family. I was totally ready for that bedroom to be cleared out so that the boys could split up.

Now the day is here, and I miss my daughter, the big loser.

When I get up during the night I keep checking to see if she's home. She'd been working midnights recently, so some nights her room would be empty, and that was strange enough. Now there are two teenaged boys bunking where she use to sleep. And she's off in Mexico on her honeymoon.

The family living in our home is down to "just" the six of us: my four boys, the Big Man, and me. It's shrinking. Soon they'll all be gone, I know. There will be no more legos for me to suck up in the vacuum, no more violent video games on the TV. My grocery bill will be less than my mortgage payment. I will no longer have conversations about $400 cell phone bills, late night excursions or undone chores. My days of serving as chauffeur and referee will be over.

Right now, even while I'm missing my daughter, all that sounds great on paper. I get sick of all that stuff. Who wouldn't? It's a pain.

But so is the pain of letting go. Of watching my babies grow up.


So today I have no answers, no advice. I'm hardly an empty-nester -- there are still four fat, needy chicks waiting for me to fetch them a worm. I'm just doing that thing we mothers do -- wishing it all away, wishing it wouldn't end so soon.

I wish I was better at living in the moment, at drinking in the joy and ignoring the inconveniences. Because that's really all they are, inconveniences. That's a small price to pay for the great gift I've been given: a nest full of precious ones ready to soar.

wedding mania!

Well, we made it!

Our beautiful daughter Lauren married her love yesterday!

I'm so exhausted, but I just couldn't go without posting a few informal photos! The weather was magnificent, the ceremony glorious, the bride radiant.

Praise God!

summer school

I know that summer is winding to a close.

I know that because all my annual flowering plants, the ones that I buy every year despite my "black thumb," are dried up and ready to be tossed. I know that because when I venture out for an evening walk, the sunset sends me home a little earlier each night. I know it's true because the stores have been selling back to school supplies for over a month now. Yep, it's almost THAT time again. Time to go back to school.

We're a homeschooling family, and have been for, let's see, sixteen years. Some of my friends insist on "formal" schooling throughout the summer months, but not me. If my kids weren't begging for lazy days around the pool with absolutely no textbooks allowed, I certainly would be. I love the summer days, the days without lesson plans, spelling tests, and that ever-present question: Did you do your math? Uggh.

We take the summer off.

But just because we don't crack open textbooks doesn't mean we stop learning. In fact, I sometimes think we learn more when we're just not trying to.

So here's a little something called "What We Learned On Our Summer Vacation," by Me.

It is really fun to go swimming at night, even with the mosquitoes.

You can fit approximately 1,798,322 legos on the dining room table if there are no school books hogging the space.

Italians like Jordon almonds, and throwing them at the newlyweds is a fertility ritual. (See this post if you are scratching your head.)

Reading books is fun, especially when you don't have to write a book report.

It takes 18 hours to drive to New Hampshire, not the 14 that is says on Mapquest.

You can survive eating cereal, sandwiches, or ice cream for dinner.

You don't have to travel far to see exotic, interesting creatures. Within blocks of our home we saw hummingbirds, weird moths, and squirrels in at least FOUR different styles.

Little boys can go for days without a traditional shower or bath.

It's important to take the time to make friends with a variety of folks, including your parents and grandparents, single people, and members of the clergy. People exactly like you are boring.

Regarding that last thought...one of my favorite evenings of the summer was spent at a friend's house. This friend is a single woman, a musician who doesn't have any children. She does, however, love the little rascals, and spending an evening at her house is thrilling to them. She has traveled all over the world and has all sorts of interesting artifacts and -- even better -- cool musical instruments. While visiting we spontaneously delved into some off-the-top-of-our-heads storytelling, with my six-year-old acting out the tale while the nine-year-old banged a GONG, shook a rainstick and rapped on several unique drums. Wow! It was amazing! What we would have missed if I had passed on the last minute invitation to bring the family over for dinner. What we would have missed if I had thought we should only hang out with families just like our own. What we would have missed...if we hadn't taken time for summer.

"Real" school will be starting in a few weeks. I don't intend to dread it this year, as I sometimes do. I plan to hold tight to some of the spontaneity of this season. I will remember that the best learning happens when we are relaxed, open, and well-fed on joy and ice cream (even for dinner.)

Now if I could just get those legos back in the box!

last single digit bday for John!

No, I didn't forget about John! This is a busy week in our family. Our fifth child, our son John, turned nine on the 20th.

John is awesome because he has blue eyes, loves Star Wars Legos, and can roller blade.

And he has freckles!

Happy Birthday, John! I love you more than you can imagine!

girls just wanna have fun!

Today we celebrate my eldest daughter Rachel's 22nd birthday!

She and I spent the day shopping (one of our favorite activities) after having spent last Saturday night dancing (another favorite.)

Some photos from our exciting evening at Boogie Fever, a local club that caters to old folks like me and our kids, follow. (We had such a good time dancing to the best music ever -- music from "my era" -- the 70s and 80s -- and even got to be on the radio!)

Happy Birthday, Rachel. You were the original Adamkiewicz kid, the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you!

a letter from Lolo

I heard from my daughter Lauren via email. Her note was so sweet I had to post it here.

Hi momma! We made it safely to Australia! I miss you guys a lot. When we were on the plane to LA, I was crying a little because I missed you so much. But Giovanni made me feel better.

It's 8am on Monday morning; how weird is that?? You're prolly like having dinner on Sunday, and I just ate breakfast! I totally ate baked beans for breakfast. It was the hax, you're so jello.

We're going to go for a nature hike today, so I'll def take lots of picture of the Australian wildlife. Apparently everything here has the ability to kill you. Even the birds. Even the aboriginies. Even crossing the street (#1 killer, btw). It's out of control.

So our tour guide is Australian (obviously) and after listening to her talk for like 20 minutes, I already was talking with an accent in my head. With any luck I'll sound like an Aussie by the time I get home :)

I miss you!! Tell everyone I miss them too! Giovanni says hello. He misses you too. Hope the wedding thing is going well ;)

Love you!!!
Lolo

Proof that no matter how old our kids are, we still miss them when they're far from us, are happy when they say "I love you" and think it's cute and have to share it when they say funny things.

beautiful photos from a beautiful day!

Just couldn't resist posting some of my favorites. Again, all credit to the amazing Stacy Shy of Venture Photography.

urchin free!

I love my children madly, but I am giddy with delight that my brother agreed to take them for the weekend.

The Big Man and I are blissfully typing away at our computers in an urchin-free family room. We can hear ourselves think and even occasionally look up and speak whole sentences to one another.

I know I will miss them by Sunday night, but for now I'm euphoric. February is truly the longest month of the year for homeschooling moms, especially those of us with four boys in a tiny snowcovered house that lacks a basement. (Can anyone say, special place in heaven, reservation for one?)

Close only counts for horseshoes and hand grenades

My husband says I'll miss these days, but is it so wrong to long for a time when "Watch where you're aiming!" isn't part of my daily vocabulary?