Tuesday, March 3, 2009

mindless drivel

"While it's fresh in my mind."

If you're a writer of any sort at all, you've muttered these words to yourself. I've just got to get this down on paper, while it's fresh in my mind. Perhaps you just returned from the senior prom, or your first job interview, or the dentist, and what occurred there was so inspirational or stupid that you just must jot it down, for posterity. Or for giggles.

Maybe you're not an "official" writer, but even so, you've done it. You remember something you have to tell your best friend or therapist. You recall the words to that song. You remember what you really need to pick up the next time you're at the grocery store. And while the thought's fresh, you grab it.

The problem I'm having lately is that nothing at all stays fresh in my mind. It's as if someone has left the fridge door open a crack, or maybe knocked the plug clear out of the socket, and now everything in there has gone bad. The eggs are rotten, the milk is sour, the butter is rancid, and don't even think about touching that bread that's sitting on top. It's stale as hell.

I'm not sure if I'm mentally ill or brain damaged, or just tired. Is it hormones? Too much wine? Not enough coffee? Or is it that my brain is just crammed to capacity, like that old 512 megabyte computer we put on the curb?

The old steel trap had denigrated into a crumpled wad of aluminum foil.

I have no real excuse or explanation. It's just that I've lost my mind, and I miss it. We used to be so close, my mind and I. We went everywhere together. Now, I'm left to travel this lonesome road, mindlessly.

While it's possible my mind and I might be reunited someday, I'm not optimistic. I think I just need to accept the fact that things have changed. I need to rely on my kids, and my friends, and a daily planner. That's where I sometimes write important things.

While they're fresh in my mind.

6 comments:

Bia said...

I think what you're experiencing is called . . . "The Mom Syndrome", and it hits all of us when we least expect it. . . especially when we're brain dead.

Yup, brain dead. It's a safety mechanism that kicks in when our mind has been in overdrive dealing with everything that a Mom deals with (you understand, I'm sure).

Hang in there . . .

Debbie said...

I am wondering if it is a seasonal thing. So many people seem to be echoing your feelings.

Kate Wicker said...

Love the refrigerator analogy. With my preggo brain, I can certainly relate.

Christine said...

I am not a writer (as you can tell from my blog....goofy thing) but I have the mind-seperation going also. I freak out when I cannot spell a word. I sometimes think I have a mind of a 5yr old. I need to find a brain exercise site and work it more.

Lerin said...

"I have no real excuse or explanation. It's just that I've lost my mind, and I miss it."

It's pure exhaustion. I've got nothing but stale bread and rotten eggs too!

This post made me laugh out loud, literally.

Giovanni said...

Don't forget to take you vitamins.