Thursday, February 19, 2009

taking it like a man

I want to be one of those saints I've read about.

Not the kind who got beaten and killed for his faith. Not the type who wore a hair shirt and/or ate locusts. Certainly not the kind who got her hands all dirty waiting on people.

I want just one thing: the ability to accept all that happens to me with an attitude of acceptance and peace.

Some years ago a good friend gave me a book of daily readings about the saints. It was one of those books I read over and over again, each time finding new wisdom. It was in this book that I found stories of saints who truly knew how to punch themselves in the gut and take whatever life had to throw at them.

I've had a few things thrown at me this week.

It really doesn't matter what they are, I suppose. But I know it does matter what I do with these goodies that've come my way. I wonder at the way God doesn't seem to answer my prayers, then ponder the possibility that He has something better in mind. In the meantime I am left with difficult circumstances that force me to acknowledge that God is in the business of making saints, not successes.

One of my biggest crosses is the one of being misunderstood. Anyone else carrying this one with me? You know the kind. I want so badly to explain myself, to make people understand what I meant. But they're not always listening. And I can't seem to say anything to earn respect, to make my voice be heard.

But He's listening, right? He respects me, all the time. He knows what the little (and big) sacrifices cost me. And He will never, ever, let me down.

Yep. I want to be That Kind of Saint.


Laura said...

Me too dear. Me too.

Therese said...

I am with you on this one...

momto5minnies said...

ME TOO!!!!!!!!

Debbie said...

I would love that too. However, I think even most of the saints questioned and resisted sometimes. Or maybe thinking that just makes me feel better!

Christine said...

Reading about the saints and gaining wisdom is a good good thing. Life is such a mystery. I cannot wait to find out all the whys about it.

Why does He allow evil. All that horrible stuff with the Jews and the abortion junk and all the other icky junk that goes on. Why?

SQUELLY said...

I'm with you on this one! All too familiar I'm afraid.