Monday, March 24, 2008

thanks for remembering

A special thank you to the many who sent emails and comments regarding my daughter's birthday on the 14th. I continue to be comforted whenever I am reassured that Celeste's life was meaningful, and that her memory is being treasured.

I am frequently contacted by people who love someone who has lost a child. Often they will ask me to send a copy of my book, and sometimes they will request prayers. Every time they want to know what they can do to comfort someone who is grieving the loss of a little one. I always tell them this: Assure them that their child will never be forgotten!

When you lose a child, you lose more than a person. You lose a future, a dream. You lose all those things that will not be. When the child is very young, as my daughter was, or perhaps is not even born yet, the loss is devastating. We have lost someone we have only begun to love, and we don't have all the memories we feel we deserved to have.

If you know someone who has lost a child, even many years ago, will you reach out and let them know their child was important? Some do not wish to discuss their loss, and I respect that, but I'm certain I'm not alone here. We don't ever want our babies to be forgotten.

One of the most beautiful gifts I ever received was an anonymous card that arrived in the mail one day. It came many months after my daughter's death. Featuring an image of a heart and a butterfly (symbols that spoke very specifically of Celeste!) it contained this message: "Until we can be together again, heart is waiting right here for you." It felt like a lifeline to heaven, and I treasure it.

I received an order on my website this morning from an administrator of a grief support group for those who have lost young children. There are great resourses available at their site! If you know someone who is hurting, you may want to share this info.

And share a moment with someone who has suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss of a baby or child of any age. Thank you for your love and prayers!


Anne Marie said...

I’ve tried to explain the loss of a dream you speak of. I don’t ever feel like I quite get it right, or maybe that I’m not quite understood.

The loss of the first day of school, the loss of Christmas morning, all the Christmas mornings for the rest of your life, the loss of adolescent struggles towards independence, the loss of Grandchildren.

The loss of a child at any age is difficult. With the loss of a young child or a baby through miscarriage people sometimes assume that the loss is inconsequential because you don’t have a long history with that child. But that’s not the way it works.

Catherine said...

Thank you, Anne Marie. My heart aches for all of us who have lost our precious children. Thank God they are with Our Lord interceding for us!

Cassie said...

You know, I had a miscarriage once, and I grieved a very little, but then immediately replaced it with another pregnancy and never gave it much thought again. It was only recently, when someone gently reminded me that I have an angel in Heaven, did I realize that I had lost a real child. Thank you for including miscarriage babies in the words you've spoken here. You continue to inspire me. God bless!!

Cassie said...

Cathy, I tagged you for one of those dreaded "meme"s! Come by for a visit and see.