Thursday, July 23, 2009

a time to weep and a time to laugh

Today's the kind of day when I need to come here to the field, lay down, and let the blue blossoms swallow me right up.

Four years ago today Celeste died. I usually do quite well on this anniversary. I don't cry, and I don't get all melodramatic. I comfort my husband and children, and I tell people her life was a blessing and I have no bitterness, only joy.

Today wasn't exactly like that.

I was with "others" today - people outside of the family - something that's not happened on an anniversary yet. I thought I'd be fine, then I knew I wouldn't be. I thought about staying home from work. I'm glad I didn't.

I went to work, and I cried, and I talked and I allowed myself to be comforted. I'm not used to that. I'm used to being the the one who's doing the comforting.

I'm so blessed to have family, friends, and now coworkers who care about me.

Today I remembered Celeste, and I remembered her suffering, as well as the great blessing of her life. Life is filled with suffering and blessings. To be truly alive is to embrace them both.

Once again I'll share the video I made for Celeste. I hope it will make you smile - and cry.

Be alive. And thank God.


Laura said...

God bless you and give you peace.

SQUELLY said...

I am sure she was there in the midst of you. Blessings and prayers!


Kim H. said...

What a gift you gave yourself to allow yourself the comfort of others. I've been thinking of you all day today. You will be in my prayers before rest tonight.


Sarah Reinhard said...

It takes so much more humility (for me, at least) to accept help/comfort/support than to give it. Good for you.

And here's a (((hug))) from me!

Aussie Therese said...

What a beautiful tribute to your daughter. I would love to read your book. Do you post to Australia?


momto5minnies said...

I'm glad you could get some comfort from friends and loved ones.

I don't think I could say anything to make things seems better ... I am just so sorry for your loss :(

Mary Poppins NOT said...

Oh. my. What cute, lovely little baby. I did cry, but I asked for her intercession for myself and my family ~ St. Celeste, pray to God for us!

May her memory be eternal!