Saturday, June 20, 2009

enough already

Let's just get this over with, shall we?

I feel like I've been away so long that I don't know how to come back. It's like going back to the gym - and I like going to the gym - I just don't like going BACK to the gym. It feels like every one is looking at me, wondering where I've been. I can just imagine what they're thinking: she's gained some weight. I bet she's been noshing on chocolate cake every day during the hours she used to work out with us. Who does she think she is? She's not one of us anymore.

It' silly, because after 30 minutes on the eliptical (OK, 15, it's been awhile, right?) I feel like I'm right where I belong. No one cares that I've been away for awhile. They're truly glad I'm back. And so am I.

Same goes for the old blogity blog. I feel shy whenever I've been away for awhile. I think all of my followers are ticked at me. I don't think I'm a real blogger anymore. I'm hoping you'll graciously welcome me back, and not wonder whom I've been cheating with while I've been gone.

Nothing can take the place of my blog, and the kind of writing I'm free to do here. But I'm happy to report I have been doing something good in my time away.

The new job suits me nicely, I think. The hours are wonderful (8 am to 3:30 pm) and while I'm there I'm able to combine my two loves: my writing and my faith. I don't like to over-spiritualize things, but I'm convinced God placed me there for a reason.

For, I don't know, years, I suppose, I've been asking Him to give me an opportunity to use my "gifts" in a larger way. I used to get so frustrated, wondering why God would give me a love for writing, and some talent in it, and not want me to use it.

The whole concept of "in God's time" is being played out right before my eyes. I believe I'm right where I need to be, and that He has put me here, today, because that's where He can use me.

Last summer, I was so disappointed when an opportunity I thought was just perfect for me was pulled out of my reach. I found out last week that that whole thing fell apart - I thought I was missing an opportunity of a lifetime, and it turns out it was no such thing.

It's easy to tell each other to trust Him, isnt' it? When we're not on the receiving end of that advice, it all seems so clear. But the truth is it's a bear to hang in there when we're seeing nothing. It's exhausting to keep trusting when we see nothing in the way of "results."

I was starting to wonder if He heard me at all. And now I'm just in awe of how He put it all together for me. Yes, for me, His girl, the one He always looks out for.

If you're waiting for Him, please be patient. He will never, ever forget you. He's got something planned for you that is just right.

Trust me.

Better yet, trust Him.


momto5minnies said...

That was beautifully said.
I'm so glad that you are happy with your new job. We all want to love what we do and do what we love. Sounds like you found that.

I'm pretty sure there are no rules for blogging. We all take little breaks ... well more of us than not.

Kim H. said...

Oh Cathy, I have missed you -- mostly because of our life and our great migration. But know, those of us that love and adore you will always be looking for what's new and exciting at your blogity blog! :)

And yes, we need to keep trusting, but we imperfect humans aren't always so good at that part.

Love and hugs!

Lora said...

I took a big break for a couple of weeks, so I know how you feel there :0) I love your blog though, and what an inspiring voice to read today. I've been learning a little about God's timing and how he takes care of us lately too...things I've *known* all along but not KNOWN. If that makes any sense at all.

GrandmaK said...

This really is a wonderful post. So true, so true! God time is the BEST time! so glad all is going well!!! Cathy

Kate Wicker @ Momopoly said...

So beautiful. I needed a little push in the whole trust direction.

Thank you.

MightyMom said...

it's hard to wait on God...but rewarding!!!

GrandmaK said...

Please visit I have something for you! God bless. Cathy